Saturday, June 14, 2014

So the Shit Begins. Yay.

So I decided to do a blog for my class at Polytechnic ( isn't that an awesome word? Everyone knows it's just fucking TAFE but it has this melodic, twee lyrical power to it, like when Leeloo says "Multipass" in the Fifth Element). Anyway, I decided to do a blog and wanted my first entry to be profound. Thus, it has taken me three months to even make an entry. Because I'm not profound; I'm just me, and I couldn't think of a single piece of awe inspiring revelation, or a revolutionary witty retort. I lost my words. It happens sometimes, like when I'm getting fucked over at work, but can't assert myself to respond. I'm quite happy to advocate on behalf of others, but when it comes down to it, I turn into a quivering inarticulate mess, or shut the fuck up completely instead of actually defending or expressing myself. I had some issues with a co-worker, and interactions with this woman left me in a state of incoherent blabbering and feeling like my life would best be served hovering in a foetal position in a corner somewhere until I drop dead. I'm a fully fledged adult; I have boobs, two of them (admittedly they are quite small, but I've gained so much weight I'm a C cup now) but I'm still really bad at all the grown-up shit. Anyway, the thing about words is, they are always there, just stuck sometimes or not the ones you would nominally chose to use. Sometimes your meandering thoughts are going to be entertaining and sometimes they are going to be a boring self indulgent bucket of shit. I think the idea is to just write and see what comes out. And it's really hard to concentrate when my daughter is singing "Daddy, Why Did You Steal My Fries?" in the background.

1 comment:

  1. Ha ha ha... I can totally relate to this. I do it all the time and then I spend hours in self-excoriation wondering why i never think of the good/right thing to say, and how pathetic I am for not standing up for myself. But if I stood up for myself, I would spend hours wondering if I was overreacting and maybe everyone was going to hate me... It's a bind

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